But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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