It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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