Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
