ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no, he came in my armpit
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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