It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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