Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
jump out the window naked night went bad
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