Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
