'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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