after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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