So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize