i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
