btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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