so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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