how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
