So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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