plz talk dirty to me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm bleeding and have questions
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
