Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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