I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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