I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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