Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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