Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
