I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
