he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I AM VODKA MAN
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
