I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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