So drunk its hurt
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
