You're a womanizer and a bitch.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
