meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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