you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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