You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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