You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
