My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
