yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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