I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
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I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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