we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
