Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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