your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
