the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
