The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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