she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
