So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
