he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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