i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
