Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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