I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
