His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
