think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
