he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Terrible idea I love it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
