dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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