i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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