Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
