"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
