Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?