Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)