speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires