Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.