During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
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just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.