Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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  (952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7
  Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  it's too hot outside to masturbate.

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  (310): it's too hot outside to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/dql5
  Replies (19) Good night (526) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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  (847): I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops? http://tfl.nu/7gnj
  Replies (12) Good night (2906) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.

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  (831): She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps. http://tfl.nu/t8aw
  Replies (16) Good night (3128) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??

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  (864): Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others?? http://tfl.nu/cnvm
  Replies (102) Good night (6879) Bad night (2241) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

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  (772): Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/26ja
  Replies (4) Good night (2800) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.

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  (604): You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/i4e8
  Replies (15) Good night (4789) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You're fat. Stop making excuses

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  (647): all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes (905): You're fat. Stop making excuses http://tfl.nu/rdmk
  Replies (70) Good night (13054) Bad night (5301)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"

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  (401): No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out" http://tfl.nu/ac7g
  Replies (3) Good night (2653) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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  (713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi
  Replies (8) Good night (2225) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.

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  (+44): made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012. http://tfl.nu/7rf8
  Replies (8) Good night (1937) Bad night (478)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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  (843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5
  Replies (16) Good night (2669) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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  (207): I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered. http://tfl.nu/1qcp
  Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer

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  (914): We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer http://tfl.nu/h5p8
  Replies (11) Good night (697) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great

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  (610): I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great http://tfl.nu/gyhs
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt

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