so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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