So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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