I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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