is your mom at the bar?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
