I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
