Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize