if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize